Raising confident kids

It takes confidence to be a kid. Whether going to a new school or stepping up to bat for the first time, kids face a lot of uncharted territory.

Naturally, parents want to instill a can-do attitude in their kids so that they'll bravely take on new challenges and, over time, believe in themselves. While each child is a little different, parents can follow some general guidelines to build kids' confidence.

Self-confidence rises out of a sense of competence. In other words, kids develop confidence not because parents tell them they're great, but because of their achievements, big and small. Sure, it's good to hear encouraging words from mom and dad. But words of praise mean more when they refer to a child's specific efforts or new abilities.

rightTime.gifWhen kids achieve something, whether it's brushing their own teeth or riding a bike, they get a sense of themselves as able and capable, and tap into that high-octane fuel of confidence.

Building self-confidence can begin very early. When babies learn to turn the pages of a book or toddlers learn to walk, they are getting the idea "I can do it!" With each new skill and milestone, kids can develop increasing confidence.

Parents can help by giving kids lots of opportunities to practice and master their skills, letting kids make mistakes and being there to boost their spirits so they keep trying. Respond with interest and excitement when kids show off a new skill, and reward them with praise when they achieve a goal or make a good effort.

With plentiful opportunities, good instruction, and lots of patience from parents, kids can master basic skills — like tying their shoes and making the bed. Then, when other important challenges present themselves, kids can approach them knowing that they have already been successful in other areas.
Stay on the Sidelines

curiosity.gifOf course, supervision is important to ensure that kids stay safe. But to help them really learn a new skill, it's also important not to hover. Give kids the opportunity to try something new, make mistakes, and learn from them.

For instance, if your son wants to learn how to make a peanut butter sandwich, demonstrate, set up the ingredients, and let him give it a try. Will he make a bit of a mess? Almost certainly. But don't swoop in the second some jelly hits the countertop. In fact, avoid any criticism that could discourage him from trying again. If you step in to finish the sandwich, your son will think, "Oh well, I guess I can't make sandwiches."

But if you have patience for the mess and the time it takes to learn, the payoff will be real. Someday soon he'll be able to say, "I'm hungry for lunch, so I'm going to make my own sandwich." You might even reply, "Great, can you make me one, too?" What a clear sign of your faith in his abilities!
Offer Encouragement and Praise

Sometimes, it won't be you swooping in when your child falters, but your child giving up. Help by encouraging persistence in the midst of frustration. By trying again, kids learn that obstacles can be overcome.

Once kids reach a goal, you'll want to praise not only the end result but also their willingness to stick with it. For instance, after your son has mastered making that peanut butter sandwich you might show your confidence by saying, "Next time, want to learn how to crack an egg?" Sandwich-fixing and egg-cracking might not seem like huge achievements, but they're important steps in the right direction — toward your child's independence.

Throughout childhood, parents have chances to prepare kids to take care of themselves. Sure, it's great to feel needed, but as kids steadily gain confidence and independence, their relationship with you can be even richer. You can be bonded, not just by dependence, but by love and shared pride in all they've achieved. Eventually, your grown-up kids just might say thanks for how prepared they feel for the road ahead — a road they can take with confidence.

Fever and your kid

Most parents have experienced this scenario: You wake up in the middle of the night to find your child standing by your bed, flushed, hot, and sweaty. Your little one's forehead feels warm. You immediately suspect a fever, but are unsure of what to do next. Should you get out the thermometer? Call the doctor?

In healthy kids, fevers usually don't indicate anything serious. Although it can be frightening when your child's temperature rises, fever itself causes no harm and can actually be a good thing — it's often the body's way of fighting off infections. And not all fevers need to be treated. High fever, however, can make a child uncomfortable and aggravate problems such as dehydration.

But it's easy to learn how to correctly take a child's temperature when it's a little higher than usual. Read on for more about fevers, how to measure and treat them, and when to call your child's doctor.

What Is Fever?

Fever occurs when the body's internal "thermostat" raises the body temperature above its normal level. This thermostat is found in the part of the brain called the hypothalamus. The hypothalamus knows what temperature your body should be (usually around 98.6? Fahrenheit, or about 37? Celsius) and will send messages to your body to keep it that way.

Most people's body temperatures even change a little bit during the course of the day: It's usually a little lower in the morning and a little higher in the evening and can fluctuate as kids run around, play, and exercise.

Sometimes, though, the hypothalamus will "reset" the body to a higher temperature in response to an infection, illness, or some other cause. So, why does the hypothalamus tell the body to change to a new temperature? Researchers believe turning up the heat is the body's way of fighting the germs that cause infections and making the body a less comfortable place for them.

What Causes Fever?

It's important to remember that fever by itself is not an illness — it's usually a symptom of an underlying problem. Fever has several potential causes:

Infection: Most fevers are caused by infection or other illness. Fever helps the body fight infections by stimulating natural defense mechanisms.

Overdressing: Infants, especially newborns, may get fevers if they're overbundled or in a hot environment because they don't regulate their body temperature as well as older children. However, because fevers in newborns can indicate a serious infection, even infants who are overdressed must be evaluated by a doctor if they have a fever.

Immunizations: Babies and children sometimes get a low-grade fever after getting vaccinated.

Although teething may cause a slight rise in body temperature, it's probably not the cause if a child's temperature is higher than 100? Fahrenheit (37.8? Celsius).
When Can a Fever Be a Sign of Something Serious?

In the past, doctors advised treating a fever on the basis of temperature alone. But now they recommend considering both the temperature and the child's overall condition.

Kids whose temperatures are lower than 102? Fahrenheit (38.9? Celsius) often don't require medication unless they're uncomfortable. There's one important exception to this rule: If you have an infant 3 months or younger with a rectal temperature of 100.4? Fahrenheit (38? Celsius) or higher, call your doctor or go to the emergency department immediately. Even a slight fever can be a sign of a potentially serious infection in very young infants.

If your child is between 3 months and 3 years old and has a fever of 102.2? Fahrenheit (39? Celsius) or higher, call the doctor to see if he or she needs to see your child. For older kids, take behavior and activity level into account. Watching how your child behaves will give you a pretty good idea whether a minor illness is the cause or if your child should be seen by a doctor.

The illness is probably not serious if your child:

* is still interested in playing
* is eating and drinking well
* is alert and smiling at you
* has a normal skin color
* looks well when his or her temperature comes down

And don't worry too much about a child with a fever who doesn't want to eat. This is very common with infections that cause fever. For kids who still drink and urinate normally, not eating as much as usual is OK.

Your Child will have a higher IQ

Children that are breastfed have a higher IQ than children that are fed formula? Is this some sort of unsupported statement by radical breastfeeding supporters? Has our support of breastfeeding outstripped the facts?

Nothing could be further from the truth. Perhaps one of the most important stories that hasn't made your local paper (but has been on the newsfeeds) is that there is a demonstrated direct relation between a child's intelligence and cognitive ability and how long that child was breastfed. Some studies show an increase in intelligence for each additional month the child was breastfed.

Could you give your child a more important gift than a better brain? The findings are hardly surprising when we consider that the brain is only 1/3 formed at birth, and that breastmilk has been evolutionarily honed over millions of years to complete building the brain during the first two years of life. Cow's milk has been evolutionarily honed to.., hmm.., maybe build big bones? Whoever heard of a smart cow?